According to the calendar perched on my cluttered desk, there’s a Friday the 13th this month. And good luck with that.
As you know, there are people who feel that Friday the 13th is an axis of evil to be dreaded to the nth degree.
Folks who suffer from a chilling fear of Friday the 13th are saddled with paraskevidekatriaphobia. If spelling that alphabet salad isn’t enough to blow out the sprockets on your spell check, paraskevidekatriaphobia also is known as friggagtriskaidekaphobia.
Only those people who do a lot of cardio can type either word without getting breathless.
By the way, those poor souls who simply suffer from a fear of the No. 13 are afflicted with triskaidekaphobia. The distinction is relatively moot.
If you’re scared witless by the No. 13, odds are pretty good that you’re absolutely terrorized by Friday the 13th as well.
Also, the odds are equally as good that you probably would kick butt in a spelling bee contest if you’re a paraskevidekatriaphobe or a friggagtriskaidekaphobe or a triskaidekaphobe.
How on earth can these poor dupes tremble at the knees and quiver in the belly over this nonsense? Well, it’s an ancestral thing.
The Scandinavians, when not otherwise occupied with frolicking in the snow, believed the No. 13 was unlucky due to the mythological 12 demigods being joined by a 13th, an evil one. And being evil, his divine mission was to mess with the serenity of humans. Indeed, there’s always some jerk who wants to drill holes in your serenity and plug in anxiety.
It has been noted that Christ was crucified on a Friday and the number of dinner guests at the Last Supper was 13. The 13th guest was Judas, one of history’s all-time bad guys. Granted, the Bible doesn’t mention whether the crucifixion took place on a Friday the 13th.
While I may scoff and think this Friday the 13th phobia is silly and full of falsity and wind, there are true believers who swear it’s simultaneously sinister and rooted in history.
Remember the Great Flood that had everybody but Noah and two of every species treading water? Yep, it supposedly began on a Friday even though the forecast for that day was only partly cloudy.
In Israel the number 12 is considered lucky owing to the 12 tribes of Israel. Conversely, 13 is considered very unlucky.
In Roman culture, witches are believed to have gathered in groups of 12 and if a 13th witch joined the group it was considered to be the devil.
Thank God there are only 12 months a year. If there were a 13th, life supposedly wouldn’t be all lollipops, gumdrops and sunbeams that month and would instead be awash in the weeping and gnashing of teeth along with chest-splitting indigestion and searing plantar fasciitis bringing to heel your ability to walk.
Superstition and fear associated with Friday the 13th specifically grew during the Middle Ages, a time not known for its civility. In fact, it was a time when thousands of Knights Templars were tortured as heretics by King Philip IV of France. Now for the real kicker. That epic one-day torture transpired on Friday, Oct. 13, 1307.
Literature references Friday the 13th. Chaucer alluded to Friday as a day of spine-mangling bad luck in his 14th century Canterbury Tales. Urban legend has it that Chaucer suffered from severe writer’s block every Friday the 13th and this so traumatized him that he invented the Friday Happy Hour.
In British culture Friday and 13 are associated with capital punishment. Friday was known as the Day of the Hangman as many public hangings took place on Fridays. And there were exactly 13 steps to the gallows. Obviously, the person making the final walk to meet the hangman was out of luck.
Friday the 13th bad juju didn’t just transpire in olden times.
A calamity that came to be known as White Friday befell soldiers on the Italian front during World War I. Thousands of soldiers died on Dec. 13, 1916, in the Dolomites from avalanches triggered by heavy snowfall and then a sudden thaw.
Friday, Oct. 13, 1972, was a particularly nasty day. A plane crashed in the Andes. Twelve people died instantly and the survivors resorted to cannibalism. That same day 174 people perished when a Russian airliner crashed on landing near Moscow.
On Friday, July 13, 1979, a guy named Bob Renphrey fell through a plate glass door, was fired and put his wife in the hospital after accidentally hitting her in the head with a stick meant for the dog. Another Friday the 13th saw his wife fall down a flight of stairs. No fool, Renphrey stayed in bed every subsequent Friday the 13th.
On Friday, Aug. 13, 2010, a 13-year-old boy in Suffolk, England was struck by lightning. The lightning hit at 1:13 p.m., or 13:13 in military time. Miraculously, the boy survived unharmed.
Friday as well as the number 13 thus have many historical, deep-rooted evil associations. Since two supposedly unlucky entities are coming together on this day, people who are prone to anxiety disorders develop deep dread or phobia about it.
This climate of fear and loathing manifests itself by refusing to leave home and indulging in ritualistic behavior such as hanging shoes outside a window to repel evil, eating garlic and walking around a room 13 times on Friday the 13th.
I suspect garlic is the most effective in warding off evil spirits. I’m dubious that hanging shoes from a window and walking in squared circles scares the bejesus out of demons who have just journeyed from the bowels of hell.
Let’s face it, the world can come apart at the seams at any moment on Friday the 13th. Much like skin-tight clothing on folks off their Ozempic.
Mike Zielinski, a resident of Berks County, is a columnist, novelist, playwright and screenwriter.
Source: Berkshire mont
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