Bullies were not born that way, neither were their targets nor those who witness bullying and say nothing, encourage it or speak out.
“We create them with our actions and words or lack thereof,” Pamela S. Gockley said. “Bullying is a learned behavior.”
Gockley is the founder and executive director of the Camel Project, a nonprofit devoted to preventing and eliminating bullying in communities, schools, workplaces and homes.
She spoke Monday at a City Council meeting to mark National Bullying Prevention Month.
Observed each October since 2006, the month raises awareness of the devastating effects bullying has on children and families.
“To the Camel Project, every month is bullying prevention month,” she said.
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive or coercive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It comes in many forms, including making threats, spreading rumors, attacking physically or verbally and excluding someone from a group. And it can take place, in schools, workplaces, organizations and homes.
Persistent bullying can lead to or worsen feelings of isolation, rejection, exclusion and despair, and contribute to loss of self-esteem, anxiety, depression and suicidal behavior.
“We really think bullying is a gateway behavior that can lead to a lot of different things,” Gockley said. “It’s been connected to suicide, mass shootings. It’s connected to chemical abuse and addiction.”
Since bullying is a learned behavior, she said, there are some bullies who are unaware of their behavior and its effects on others.
They may have been bullied themselves as children or witnessed the behavior in a parent or another adult.
“To them it is just normal,” Gockley said. “They don’t want to fight. They want to win. So they pick out the perceived weakest one in a group.”
That could be the youngest child in a large family, a shy child with few or no friends or a person with a physical or other difference.
Because bullying is multilayered, she said, addressing it needs a multilayered approach.
Children and adults can be taught to identify bullying behaviors and how to stand up to those who bully others, Gockley said.
To help prevent bullying, she said, the Camel Project offers a certificate program. Those completing the four-hour curriculum are eligible to become certified bullying prevention specialists.
The course is designed for parents, educators, administrators, public safety members, business leaders and others, particularly those in leadership positions. The training also includes 12 months of support.
Gockley asked the mayor and council to consider offering the course for city staff.
“It will send a clear message to our youth, the citizens and our employees of the city that bullying is the scourge and will not be tolerated in our city,” she said.
She also asked council to join her in taking the Camel Pledge: I will be more self-aware of how my words and behaviors affect others. I will think before I speak. I will observe and see what is happening around me, and I will protect others who cannot protect themselves.
“We can eliminate bullying through awareness and prevention when a community gets on the same page regarding the aggressive, learned behavior,” Gockley said.
For more information visit the camelproject.org.
Source: Berkshire mont
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