Mother Nature has her sweaty fingers around Berks County’s neck this summer and it might take a crowbar to pry them off.
Yep, heat and humidity have squatted here in Berks on many days, flashing teeth-baring ferocity in drenching us with blast-furnace fury. Talk about the utter abduction of comfort.
You can sweat poundage off just by walking a mile or two. My plump neighbor took such a walk at high noon and was thin as a dowel when he returned home.
Of course, he had so many puddles of perspiration pooling in his sneakers he should’ve been wearing scuba flippers.
Dehydration is always a concern in scalding weather when the humidity is thick enough to shovel. Hot temps on steroids can dry you out, burn off all your subcutaneous fat and leave you as sharp as razor wire.
Indeed, you might look good on the beach except for the fact that you likely will be passed out on the beach.
Which is why I wear an ammo belt on my summer walks between Stone Harbor and Avalon. But instead of shotgun shells and rifle cartridges I insert small bottles of water in my belt.
I imagine this weather is pure catnip to folks who savor heat and humidity with the same zeal I crave cool swimming pools and air conditioning set colder than a witch’s heart. I suspect the majority of folks reside in my AC-cooled camp.
On especially hot summer days I swear the bricks on old buildings in Reading are sweating. The sidewalks on Penn Street are covered in rivulets of perspiration. Even in the Berks countryside there are pockets of two-lane blacktop melting into goo.
Granted, there is a plus side to everything.
Torrid temps are a great excuse to eat gallons of ice cream and drink gallons of lemonade. Hopefully not at the same time. Mixing lemonade with chocolate marshmallow fudge swirl can have your belly doing more tumbling than a clothes dryer.
Scorching weather also can bring your closer to God because it’s a constant reminder that hell is no place for souls adverse to spending eternity in a hothouse.
Hot weather ramps up your Vitamin D production. But be liberal with sunblock. Today’s terrific tan turns into tomorrow’s alligator skin, not to mention skin cancer.
When your body temperature is high, you’re doing more than testing the efficacy of your deodorant. You’re more likely to be alert and mentally sharper. Never take a cognitive test in freezing temperatures. And if you take one in the summer, it’s advisable to shut off the AC.
For those struggling with memory-loss-related illnesses, you’re more likely to forget things during the winter. Meanwhile, in the summer your memory gets better because the temperatures are higher.
Then again, days spent simulating life on the surface of the sun don’t seem all that memorable.
But never forget that the four seasons around here are fleeting. In a few more blinks of the eye, autumn will be on the horizon and there’ll be a fabulous-tomorrow-is-possible gleam in everyone’s eyes as they envision wearing sweaters.
Mike Zielinski, a resident of Berks County, is a columnist, novelist, playwright and screenwriter.
Source: Berkshire mont
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